LEADER 08163nam 2200601Ia 450 001 9910968234203321 005 20251116181630.0 010 $a1-60876-959-3 035 $a(CKB)2550000001041702 035 $a(EBL)3018901 035 $a(SSID)ssj0000835791 035 $a(PQKBManifestationID)11439773 035 $a(PQKBTitleCode)TC0000835791 035 $a(PQKBWorkID)10998109 035 $a(PQKB)10023044 035 $a(MiAaPQ)EBC3018901 035 $a(Au-PeEL)EBL3018901 035 $a(CaPaEBR)ebr10661840 035 $a(OCoLC)923659443 035 $a(BIP)24376510 035 $a(EXLCZ)992550000001041702 100 $a20080922d2009 uy 0 101 0 $aeng 135 $aur|n|---||||| 181 $ctxt 182 $cc 183 $acr 200 10$aMy loving relationship /$fWilliam G. Emener and William A. Lambos 205 $a1st ed. 210 $aNew York $cNova Science Publishers$dc2009 215 $a1 online resource (357 p.) 300 $aDescription based upon print version of record. 311 08$a1-60692-420-6 327 $aIntro -- MY LOVING RELATIONSHIPS -- MY LOVING RELATIONSHIPS -- DEDICATION -- CONTENTS -- LIST OF FIGURES -- ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS -- PROLOGUE -- ABOUT THIS BOOK -- A COMPANION BOOK -- SOME CRITICAL A PRIORI PHILOSOPHICAL ASSUMPTIONS -- A BIBLIOTHERAPEUTIC APPROACH -- THE ROAD AHEAD -- SELF ANALYSIS -- THE IMPORTANCE OF ME -- WHAT I AM AND WHO I AM -- PHYSIOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL CONSIDERATIONS -- SELF-INFLATION -- PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES AND ATTRACTIVENESS -- MULTI-TRACKERS AND UNI-TRACKERS -- HIGH-MAINTENANCE AND LOW-MAINTENANCE PEOPLE -- PURSUERS AND DISTANCERS -- ME AND YOU - SELF AND YOU -- RELATIONSHIP ANALYSIS -- A HOUSE BUILT ON ONE STILT OR MANY STILTS -- DEPENDENCE AND INDEPENDENCE -- MY NEED FOR SOMEONE IN MY LIFE -- PUBLIC SPACE AND PRIVATE SPACE -- MY NEED TO BE FOUGHT FOR -- DON'T GIVE UP YOU -- RELATIONSHIP PROS AND CONS -- MY PAST -- MOM AND DADS - OUR PRIMARY TEACHERS -- LEARNED INTERPERSONAL NEEDS -- PAST PEOPLE, CHARACTERISTICS, AND RELATIONSHIPS -- SECRETS -- ONLY-CHILD ISSUES -- BEHAVIOR ANALYSIS -- IMPORTANCE OF CONSISTENCY -- BEHAVIOR AND PERCEPTION -- PERCEPTIONS OF DIFFICULTIES -- AVOIDANT AND ESCAPE BEHAVIOR -- NEGATIVE AND POSITIVE COMPENSATORY BEHAVIOR -- DICHOTOMOUS THINKING -- DICHOTOMOUS THINKING AND EMOTIONS -- HOW WE SPEND OUR TIME -- BOUNDARY SETTING AND EXPECTATIONS -- PEOPLE ARE EITHER "GOOD" OR "BAD" -- ALL OR NOTHING RELATIONSHIPS -- FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS -- EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE -- ANALYZE AND TARGET YOUR FEELINGS AND ACTIONS -- MY FEELINGS ABOUT US -- CONFRONTING THE FEAR AND PAIN -- WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR FEELINGS -- THE IMPORTANCE OF FEELING "SAFE" -- ANXIETY REDUCTION -- JEALOUSY -- EMOTIONAL SHUTDOWN -- A NEED FOR RESOLUTION AND SERENITY -- PATTERNS AND TRENDS -- LEARNED RESPONSE PATTERNS -- ROLE(S) OF SABOTAGE -- OLD PATTERNS WITH NEW PEOPLE -- POOR COMMUNICATIONS PATTERNS -- PATTERNS ARE LIKE ADDICTIONS. 327 $aPARADIGM SHIFTS: A PLACE TO START -- RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS -- THE RELATIONSHIP PARADOX -- DIVORCE AND SEPARATION -- STAGES OF DIVORCE -- SELF-PROTECTION -- SOME DO'S AND DON'T-DO'S -- EFFECTS OF TIME -- ROCKING IN THE COMFORT ZONE -- POST-DIVORCE ANGER -- GUILT AND SHAME -- GUILT AND EXISTENTIAL GUILT -- HEALTHY SHAME AND TOXIC SHAME -- GUILT-BASED AND SHAME-BASED RELATIONSHIPS -- FEARS AND PHOBIAS -- FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN -- FEAR AND ANXIETY -- FEAR OF LOSING ME -- FEAR OF CHANGE -- FEAR OF GROWING UP (AND OUT) -- FEAR OF ABANDONMENT -- FEAR OF INTIMACY -- SHAME-BASED FEAR -- FEAR OF ENDING A RELATIONSHIP -- COMMITMENT PHOBIA -- DEPRESSION -- I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT -- ALONE - LONESOME - LONELY -- LONELINESS: IT COULD BE WORSE -- HELPLESSNESS AND HOPELESSNESS -- MIXED DEPRESSION AND SECONDARY DEPRESSION -- GRIEVING -- GRIEVING: A PROCESS -- WHAT ARE YOU GRIEVING? -- GRIEVING CAN SNEAK BACK ON OCCASIONS -- THE STALLS IN YOUR BARN -- HAVE SOMETHING TO TAKE CARE OF -- WHEN A LOVED ONE DIES -- THE LOSS OF A CHILD OR ANOTHER LOVED ONE -- TIME AND TIMING -- TIME: A PRECIOUS COMMODITY -- YOU CAN'T CREATE IT - JUST ALLOCATE IT -- A SENSE OF TIME AND SPACE -- PRIORITIES CHANGE OVER TIME -- THIS MAY NOT BE THE RIGHT TIME -- A LONG-TERM TRADE OFF -- TIME MARCHES ON -- STAYING IN "THE NOW" -- HAPPINESS AND JOY -- YOUR "HAPPINESS POTENTIAL" -- HAPPINESS IN A RELATIONSHIP -- CONTROL YOUR HAPPINESS AND JOY -- HAPPINESS AND ENJOYMENT WITH A SIGNIFICANT-OTHER -- THE A-B-CS OF HAPPINESS -- YOUR SENSE OF MEANING AND PURPOSE -- THE INTERNET -- A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE INTERNET, ELECTRONIC COMMUNICATIONS AND SOCIAL NETWORKING -- THE GOOD -- THE BAD -- THE UGLY -- RECOMMENDATIONS -- KEY INTERNET DATING TIPS -- SEEING A PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR, THERAPIST OR FAMILY MEDIATOR -- SEEKING PROFESSIONAL HELP -- WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS -- ONE THERAPIST, ONE CLIENT. 327 $aWANTS AND WILLINGNESSESS -- WILLINGNESS TO WORK -- BE YOUR BEST TO GIVE YOUR BEST -- REAL VERSUS SOCIAL RECOVERY -- WHAT ARE MY/OUR OPTIONS? -- HOW A PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR, THERAPIST OR FAMILY MEDIATOR CAN BE HELPFUL TO YOU -- RESPONSIBILITY: CAUSE ? CURE -- PAST ? FUTURE -- APPRECIATION AND UNDERSTANDING -- I COULD DO - YOU COULD DO -- ANALYZE THE LOVE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP -- STRUCTURE YOUR SCHEDULE, INCLUDING TIME FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL VACATIONS -- MEDIATION AS AN ALTERNATIVE TO COUNSELING AND THERAPY -- BENEFITS OF SUPPORT GROUPS -- SOME SUGGESTIONS ABOUT GETTING HELP FROM A PROFESSIONAL -- WE HELP YOU HELP YOURSELF -- AVOID QUICK-FIX TEMPTATIONS -- AVOID SUBCONSCIOUS SABOTAGE -- THE PARALYSIS OF ANALYSIS -- STAY FOCUSED ON THE PRESENT -- STAGES OF CHANGE EFFORTS -- PROGRESS MAY BE SLOW AND GRADUAL -- REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: BEHAVIOR AND EMOTIONS -- DON'T EXPECT IMMEDIATE RESULTS -- THE DOWNSIDE OF AN UPSWING -- WHEN TO COME BACK -- EPILOGUE REFLECTIONS AND DOORKNOB ISSUES -- REFLECTIONS -- DOORKNOB ISSUES -- ABOUT THE AUTHORS -- Untitled. 330 $aFor any individual who has wondered how a perfectly sane person in today's crazy world is supposed to figure out what is expected of them when navigating a loving relationship (and who hasn't?), this book is a must-read. The primary focus is on those issues most pertinent to the individual -- "I", "me", and "you" issues -- relevant to the quest for satisfying, loving relationships. Using case vignettes from the authors' clinical experiences as psychologists, the book's first 15 chapters address the topics of Self Analysis, Relationship Analysis, My Past, Behaviour Analysis, Dichotomous Thinking, Patterns and Trends, Divorce and Separation, Guilt and Shame, Fears and Phobias, Depression, Grieving, Time and Timing, Happiness and Joy, and The Internet (the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly). The last three address where to look for more help when serious situations arise: Seeing a Professional Counsellor, Therapist or Family Mediator, How a Professional Counsellor or Therapist Can be Helpful to You, and Some Suggestions About Getting Help from a Professional. The book is very reader-friendly, solution-focused and down to earth, and also includes 43 Figures from the author's case files that graphically display the issues and helpful recommendations. The book's authors, with many years of experience as psychologists, professors and scholars, conceptualise loving relationships and improving them as representing developmental processes that are best seen as a kind of ongoing and ever-evolving "dance" between two individuals -- relationships are not events! Reading this book will contribute to, enrich and enhance any individual's developmental process -and especially themselves and their loving relationships. 606 $aSelf 606 $aLove$xPsychological aspects 606 $aInterpersonal relations 615 0$aSelf. 615 0$aLove$xPsychological aspects. 615 0$aInterpersonal relations. 676 $a158.2 700 $aEmener$b William G$g(William George)$01863757 701 $aLambos$b William A$01863758 801 0$bMiAaPQ 801 1$bMiAaPQ 801 2$bMiAaPQ 906 $aBOOK 912 $a9910968234203321 996 $aMy loving relationship$94470441 997 $aUNINA