LEADER 06533nam 2200577 a 450 001 9910962384403321 005 20251116234912.0 010 $a1-61668-121-7 035 $a(CKB)2670000000015955 035 $a(EBL)3020316 035 $a(SSID)ssj0000341187 035 $a(PQKBManifestationID)12069792 035 $a(PQKBTitleCode)TC0000341187 035 $a(PQKBWorkID)10390579 035 $a(PQKB)10505135 035 $a(MiAaPQ)EBC3020316 035 $a(Au-PeEL)EBL3020316 035 $a(CaPaEBR)ebr10676574 035 $a(OCoLC)923663345 035 $a(BIP)24376518 035 $a(EXLCZ)992670000000015955 100 $a20080922d2009 uy 0 101 0 $aeng 135 $aur|n|---||||| 181 $ctxt 182 $cc 183 $acr 200 10$aOur loving relationship /$fWilliam G. Emener and William A. Lambos 205 $a1st ed. 210 $aNew York $cNova Science Publishers$dc2009 215 $a1 online resource (338 p.) 300 $aIncludes index. 311 08$a1-60692-421-4 327 $aIntro -- OUR LOVING RELATIONSHIP -- OUR LOVING RELATIONSHIP -- DEDICATION -- CONTENTS -- LIST OF FIGURES -- ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS -- PROLOGUE -- ABOUT THIS BOOK -- A COMPANION BOOK -- SOME CRITICAL ASSUMPTIONS -- A BIBLIOTHERAPEUTIC APPROACH -- THE ROAD AHEAD -- Chapter One LOVE -- TYPES OF LOVE -- THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON LOVE -- DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LOVE AND... -- DON'T CONFUSE LOVE WITH... -- LOVE TRIANGLE -- UNCONDITIONAL LOVE -- Chapter Two LOVING -- BEING LOVED AND FEELING LOVED -- LOVING ROLES WE PLAY -- A TRIPLE-A RATING -- MY NEED TO FEEL SPECIAL -- THE LITTLE CHILD WITHIN US -- LITTLE THINGS MEAN A LOT -- FORGETTING AND FORGIVING -- Chapter Three OUR PASTS -- YOUR INDIVIDUAL PASTS -- YOUR RELATIONSHIP'S PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURES -- THE INTERACTION EFFECT OF YOUR PASTS -- DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS AND LIVING PARALLEL LIVES -- RECYCLING ONE'S ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP HISTORY -- Chapter Four RELATIONSHIP ANALYSIS -- A BEST INDICATION -- SIGNS OF DECAY -- OUR RELATIONSHIP -- QUESTIONS WE ASK OURSELVES -- TARGETS OF OUR ATTENTION -- SITUATIONAL ISSUES AND RELATIONSHIP ISSUES -- CHARACTERISTICS OF AN IDEAL RELATIONSHIP -- GOOD AND BAD TIMES -- CAPACITIES AND POTENTIALS -- WHAT YOU WANT AND WHAT HE/SHE NEEDS -- UNDERSTANDING YOUR DANCE -- RELATIONSHIP POTENTIALS -- QUESTIONS TO ASK -- NURSE-PATIENT RELATIONSHIPS -- THE LIGHTNING ROD IN A RELATIONSHIP -- LEVELS OF A RELATIONSHIP -- THE PIECES OF MY LIFE YOU WANT -- Chapter Five CONGRUENCE AND BALANCE -- THE A, B, C'S OF LOVING RELATIONSHIPS -- LINKAGES: FEELINGS, THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS -- BALANCE -- NEW EXPERIENCES - OLD FEELINGS -- WHAT I WANT YOU TO SEE -- THINK IT, FEEL IT, AND DO IT -- Chapter Six OUTSIDE FACTORS AND FEATURES -- PRIMARY-IMMEDIATE FAMILY -- BLENDED FAMILIES -- CHILDREN -- DISTANCE -- A DISABILITY -- OTHER OUTSIDE FACTORS -- Chapter Seven OTHER PEOPLE. 327 $aA THIRD PERSON IN A TWO-SEATER -- THE TRANSITION PERSON -- THE AFFAIR PERSON -- THE MAINTENANCE PERSON -- Chapter Eight NEEDS AND WANTS -- DIFFERENCES BETWEEN NEEDS AND WANTS -- MEETING MY NEEDS AND WANTS -- MATCHING OUR ROLES WITH OUR NEEDS -- SIMILAR WANTS AND NEEDS -- IN OR OUTSIDE THE RELATIONSHIP -- OVER-ESTIMATING OUR EXPECTATIONS OF EACH OTHER -- LIMITED ASSUMPTIONS -- LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES -- Chapter Nine EXPECTATIONS AND DEPENDENCE -- WHAT ARE YOUR EXPECTATIONS -- LET OTHERS KNOW WHAT YOU EXPECT -- SOCIAL SANCTIONING -- CO-, IN-, AND INTER-DEPENDENCE -- Chapter Ten BOUNDARIES AND CONTROL -- VALUES: FOUNDATIONS FOR BOUNDARIES -- NEGOTIATING BOUNDARIES AND LIMITS -- ONLY ONE "SHOULD" -- FUNCTIONAL AND DYSFUNCTIONAL CONTROLS -- ACTIVE AND PASSIVE CONTROL -- PERCEIVED CONTROL -- INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL CONTROL -- Chapter Eleven LIFESTYLES -- INDIVIDUAL LIFESTYLES AND RELATIONSHIP LIFESTYLES -- FUNCTIONAL AND DYSFUNCTIONAL LIFESTYLES -- CONTROL YOUR RELATIONSHIP LIFESTYLE -- COMMUNICATION STYLES -- LIVING A LIE -- Chapter Twelve MONETARY AND EQUITY ISSUES -- MONEY -- VALUES AND ATTITUDES -- WORTH AND MEANING -- EQUITABLE EQUITY -- MONETARY AND EQUITY ISSUES THAT COUPLES IN LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO -- Chapter Thirteen PROBLEMS -- SOLVABLE PROBLEMS -- UNSOLVABLE PROBLEMS -- MAKING PROBLEMS LESS PROBLEMATIC -- GRIDLOCK -- ABUSE -- SEPARATION -- FIGHTING WELL -- Chapter Fourteen RELATIONSHIP SKILLS -- ESTABLISHING, MAINTAINING AND ENDING SKILLS -- During the Establishing Stage: -- During the Maintenance Stage: -- During the Ending Stage: -- EMPATHY (LISTENING) SKILLS -- IMPORTANCE OF COPING SKILLS -- Chapter Fifteen SEEING A PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR, THERAPIST OR FAMILY MEDIATOR -- SEEKING PROFESSIONAL HELP -- WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS -- ONE THERAPIST, ONE CLIENT -- WANTS AND WILLINGNESSES. 327 $aWILLINGNESS TO WORK -- BE YOUR BEST TO GIVE YOUR BEST -- REAL VERSUS SOCIAL RECOVERY -- WHAT ARE MY/OUR OPTIONS? -- Chapter Sixteen HOW A PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR, THERAPIST OR FAMILY MEDIATOR CAN BE HELPFUL TO YOU -- RESPONSIBILITY: CAUSE ? CURE -- PAST ? FUTURE -- APPRECIATION AND UNDERSTANDING -- I COULD DO - YOU COULD DO -- ANALYZE THE LOVE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP -- STRUCTURE YOUR SCHEDULE, INCLUDING TIME FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL VACATIONS -- MEDIATION AS AN ALTERNATIVE TO COUNSELING AND THERAPY -- BENEFITS OF SUPPORT GROUPS -- Chapter Seventeen SOME SUGGESTIONS ABOUT GETTING HELP FROM A PROFESSIONAL -- WE HELP YOU HELP YOURSELF -- AVOID QUICK-FIX TEMPTATIONS -- AVOID SUBCONSCIOUS SABOTAGE -- THE PARALYSIS OF ANALYSIS -- STAY FOCUSED ON THE PRESENT -- STAGES OF CHANGE EFFORTS -- PROGRESS MAY BE SLOW AND GRADUAL -- REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: BEHAVIOR AND EMOTIONS -- DON'T EXPECT IMMEDIATE RESULTS -- THE DOWNSIDE OF AN UPSWING -- WHEN TO COME BACK -- Epilogue REFLECTIONS AND DOORKNOB ISSUES -- REFLECTIONS -- DOORKNOB ISSUES -- ABOUT THE AUTHORS -- SUBJECT INDEX -- Blank Page. 330 $aThe primary focus of this book is on mutual ('us', 'we', and 'me and you') issues pertinent to loving relationships - the couple and their relationship. 606 $aMarital psychotherapy 606 $aFamily psychotherapy 615 0$aMarital psychotherapy. 615 0$aFamily psychotherapy. 676 $a616.89/1562 700 $aEmener$b William G$g(William George)$01863757 701 $aLambos$b William A$01863758 801 0$bMiAaPQ 801 1$bMiAaPQ 801 2$bMiAaPQ 906 $aBOOK 912 $a9910962384403321 996 $aOur loving relationship$94472765 997 $aUNINA