LEADER 06207nam 22007812 450 001 9910790697603321 005 20160129164327.0 010 $a1-139-89330-0 010 $a1-107-42539-5 010 $a1-107-42317-1 010 $a1-107-56239-2 010 $a1-107-41746-5 010 $a1-139-64954-X 010 $a1-107-42008-3 010 $a1-107-42139-X 010 $a1-107-41875-5 035 $a(CKB)2550000001115176 035 $a(EBL)1394596 035 $a(OCoLC)862125853 035 $a(SSID)ssj0000957195 035 $a(PQKBManifestationID)12422013 035 $a(PQKBTitleCode)TC0000957195 035 $a(PQKBWorkID)10980360 035 $a(PQKB)11757831 035 $a(UkCbUP)CR9781139649544 035 $a(Au-PeEL)EBL1394596 035 $a(CaPaEBR)ebr10753014 035 $a(CaONFJC)MIL515478 035 $a(OCoLC)857492438 035 $a(MiAaPQ)EBC1394596 035 $a(PPN)192275054 035 $a(EXLCZ)992550000001115176 100 $a20121212d2013|||| uy| 0 101 0 $aeng 135 $aur||||||||||| 181 $ctxt$2rdacontent 182 $cc$2rdamedia 183 $acr$2rdacarrier 200 10$aKnowing and not knowing in intimate relationships /$fPaul C. Rosenblatt and Elizabeth Wieling$b[electronic resource] 210 1$aCambridge :$cCambridge University Press,$d2013. 215 $a1 online resource (viii, 198 pages) $cdigital, PDF file(s) 300 $aTitle from publisher's bibliographic system (viewed on 05 Oct 2015). 311 $a1-107-04132-5 311 $a1-299-84227-5 320 $aIncludes bibliographical references and index. 327 $aContents; Acknowledgments; Chapter One Knowing and not knowing are central to intimacy; What are knowing and not knowing in intimate relationships?; Why intimate knowing and not knowing are so important; Knowing the other well does not guarantee an easy relationship; Trust as foundation for knowing; The cultural context of this work; How we did the research; Phenomenology of knowing and not knowing; We interviewed only one person in a couple; How we recruited interviewees; The interview; The people interviewed; Transcribing; Data analysis; Validity/data quality 327 $aHow much the quotes are the truth (versus just what was said)Chapter Two How couples build knowledge of one another; Trying to know the other; Getting to know one another at the start of the relationship; Previous acquaintanceship; Testimony of others about a potential partner; Revealing important information about oneself up front; Early knowing of the others family and friends; Insight into why propinquity is important in finding a partner; Practical reasons for knowing and being known in ongoing couples; Knowing and being known as intimacy; Curiosity, being nosy, prying, snooping 327 $aWanting to be knownTruth as a value; Spending considerable time together; Confrontation; Being able to see behind the fac?ade; Feeling safe; Good listening; Getting to higher levels of knowing and being known; Conclusion; Chapter Three How well do you know each other? about 90%; Not much is held back; The 10% that is not known; Experts on each other; Doubts and limits in knowing; How do you know how well you know the other?; After a break-up; What the partner says about how well you know her or him; Predictability of the other; Conclusion 327 $aChapter Four Concerns about the other's potential reaction to something not yet revealedConcerns when the relationship is relatively new; Concerns with partner knowing about ones past relationships; Concerns about money; Concerns about the others reactions to ones health issues; Concerns about disagreeing; Concerns about the others reactions to ones failures; Concerns about the others reaction to ones emotional pain; Concerns about hurting the partners feelings; Concerns about the partner having contact with ones family; Concerns about causing family (not just couple) conflict 327 $aOvercoming concerns about the partner knowing somethingMaking sense of peoples concerns about disclosing to a partner; Chapter Five What people cannot or would rather not know; There is too much to know; Curiosity limits; Inability to grasp partner realities; Not always wanting to know the truth; Information exchange when a relationship is not doing well; Conclusion; Chapter Six Processes in being a judicious nondiscloser; "Need to know" decision process; Selectivity processes; Tell the general truth but not the specifics; Hide things from your partner that will make big problems 327 $aHide truths from yourself 330 $aIn the extensive literature on couples and intimacy, little has been written about knowing and not knowing as people experience and understand them. Based on intensive interviews with thirty-seven adults, this book shows that knowing and not knowing are central to couple relationships. They are entangled in love, sexual attraction, trust, commitment, caring, empathy, decision making, conflict, and many other aspects of couple life. Often the entanglement is paradoxical. For example, many interviewees revealed that they hungered to be known and yet kept secrets from their partner. Many described working hard at knowing their partner well, and yet there were also things about their partner and their partner's past that they wanted not to know. This book's qualitative, phenomenological approach builds on and adds to the largely quantitative social psychological, communications and family field literature to offer a new and accessible insight into the experience of intimacy. 517 3 $aKnowing & Not Knowing in Intimate Relationships 606 $aIntimacy (Psychology) 606 $aInterpersonal relations 606 $aCouples$xPsychology 615 0$aIntimacy (Psychology) 615 0$aInterpersonal relations. 615 0$aCouples$xPsychology. 676 $a158.2/4 700 $aRosenblatt$b Paul C.$0998464 702 $aWieling$b Elizabeth 801 0$bUkCbUP 801 1$bUkCbUP 906 $aBOOK 912 $a9910790697603321 996 $aKnowing and not knowing in intimate relationships$93818847 997 $aUNINA